That’s right, our favorite purveyor of “JUICY” shorts, dog turds, and nonfat-sugarfree-mocha-latte-monstrosities has returned. And the whole world (or at least the only part of it that matters- LA, duh) is talking about it. (Or at least they were on 8/2 when Runyon finally opened back up and I went and intended to post this the same day… It’s still relevant!!)
Channel 4 and 5 newscasters with their fancy broadcast vans were there bright and early, documenting the joyous occasion. KTLA’s Eric Spillman looked perfectly out of place in his button-up and slacks, posing next to a large piece of Caterpillar machinery, while I huffed red-faced past him, onward to explore for myself what all these supposed improvements were. So far, didn’t look much different. But there was a surprising number of people for 630 in the morning.
The friendly neighborhood regulars were back, like a scene from Cheers, except everyone is Russian, plastic, or eccentric, very occasionally all of the above. Oh, and I don’t know anyone’s name. But this particular Russian man, the one I often see with his wife and dog, with the booming voice and commanding presence of Christopher Lee, except, you know, he’s Russian – he’s calling and waving to his friend a long way down the trail, excited to spend more time in the park with his buddies, after which his wife remarks they would be there for three hours before they returned home. The men laughed, the dogs barked. It was a morning of heartfelt reunions.
Heartfelt reunions, yes, but also sorrowful goodbyes. I mean, no one died or anything. But while they were “updating” and “maintaining” and “improving” the park, installing fancy dog fountains and fixing vital city plumbing or whatever, they happened to replace half the small loop dirt trail with pavement. Pavement! What? Why? It’s bad and on the knees and it’s going to be all hot and annoying. Unless I can bring my luge, I’m not interested.
Well, I thought to myself, “At least this ugly pavement should help control the incredible volume of dog turds around here.” But, alas, it is not so! I found the turds, even at 630 in the morning.
The good news is the terrific, albeit hazy, views and lovely bit of nature are still intact. They didn’t opt for “updated” wildlife or hypoallergenic synthetic plants in place of the dusty, hearty shrubbery. The natural aspect is delightful as ever, so I guess I’ll be back. See you in the canyon? #fitlife #4eva #summerbod #LA #runyen